Being rejected is probably one of the worst feelings in the
world. When you are rejected by someone, it brings a lot of things up in your
mind, and it's nothing good. There's a pain and suffering that comes with not
being wanted or not being recognized, and then the questions start to appear.
You find yourself asking if you're good enough for anybody.
If anyone likes you. You start thinking, what can I do to change myself so
people will like me and people will accept me? Sometimes you may go as far as
to get plastic surgery done on yourself, or you might empty out your bank
account to win favors with certain people. The worst is when it's your own
family that makes you feel that way. If there's someone who has been like me
growing up, the only way that I got people to notice me was I acted really
obnoxious. And then it just became a part of who I am.
We all want to be seen and we all want to be accepted. We
all want love in our lives. It is a need, because going through this life alone
is fucking very difficult. It can be done. Just like lifting three bags of
concrete over your shoulder and walking with them — it can be done too. But
it's not very fun.
I find myself nowadays observing a lot of people. I see the
way kids can treat each other, and I see how sometimes they get ostracized and
picked on. There was a lot of that in what I went through in my life, because I
had a speech impediment, so people thought I was weird. Sooner than later, I
started acting apart, and I just became this weird dude.
And that's the problem — people can influence you in ways
you never thought possible. That is the reason why cults exist. They open their
arms to people who they know don't feel wanted, who want love in their lives,
and give them a false sense of love and purpose. Usually, the people that join
these groups end up getting the short end of the stick and are very lucky to
get away.
The saying once was said, it takes one person to build a
house, but it takes thousands to build a city. I don't think that was ever
said, but it sounded kind of cool, so I went with it. I don't think it is
possible for one person to build a house, but it might be. Who knows.
If you do find that one person that builds a house, show
them some love, give them an atta boy. You can start there and show love to
other people with wonderful stories and inspirational tales and shit like that.
And then try to work on those people who don't have the love, who don't have
the people. Saying hello and smiling at someone, and maybe just telling them
you hope they have a good day, might be the difference between someone going
home to eat dinner or hanging themselves.
Being alone is the worst feeling in the world, probably next
to being unwanted. Some of us might do things to cause that, but that doesn't
take away from the pain and suffering that we go through when we are in it. I
always say that if you feel you have problems, talk to somebody, because you
don't wanna put yourself in a position where you alienate other people because
you're in pain.
I wish all the love in the world for you, and I hope
everyone finds what they are looking for.
NMF
M
