THE GRATITUDE CHRONICLES: THE KINDNESS VIRUS

 Last night I did what I thought was a nice thing. A kind gesture if you will. I was on my way to O'Hare Airport for my regular job and I made a stop at the gas station because it looked like the flight was going to be delayed and the original driver was going to make it in time. Once in a while I like to play video poker there. I don't gamble often. Just a small $20 investment. I won $40 last night. I saw a couple buying groceries so I took $20 and told them to use it for them and they were happy, I was happy, the guy behind the counter thought the money was for him so he was happy for a moment. I saw how much happiness was generated by this and it was exciting. (read more)

EPISODE XXXV: THE CURSE OF GUILT

 

We all do bad things in our lives, make mistakes.  Some people worse than others.  Today I talk about my own personal struggle with guilt and shame and how it has made my life more difficult along with tips and tools to help ease it.  Finding ways to make good with the people you have hurt and trying to move on from these transgressions.  Warning, lots of heavy metal this week's episode

MUSIC FROM THIS WEEK

GUILTY - Gravity Kills
WELCOME HOME (SANITARIUM) - Metallica
IN MY DARKEST HOUR - Megadeth
FIND MY WAY - Nine Inch Nails
ALL THE THINGS I'VE DONE - The Killers
LET GO - Deadmau5 (feat Grabbitz)
MOCKINGBIDS - Grant Lee Buffalo
LET IT ALL GO - Birdy and Rhodes

THE GRATITUDE CHORNICLES: MY PRIVATE CELL

The past few days have been very tough on me. I have thought so many dangerous thoughts for someone with BPD, and I have put my mind in a prison with these thoughts. Once you punch a ticket to Disneyland, its very hard to get out. And no I am not talking about the amusement park, however it does get "goofy" in there.(read more 

EPISODE XXXIV: FEEL THAT LOVE

One of the biggest obstacles in personal growth is the path to loving yourself.  It takes time, patience, and work, but once you get there the results are beautiful.  Also Rachel Claver, the organizer of the Self Love Retreat joins me to talk about her journey and this wonderful event she is organizing for March 10 in Aurora, IL. MUSIC FROM THIS EPISODE -KISS OF DEATH - Mika Nakashima -LOVER TO LOVER - Florence + The Machine -BE GOOD TO YOURSELF - Journey -I LOVE ME - Demi Lovato -LOVE YOU LIKE I DO - Ellie Goulding -IS IT LOVE - Whitesnake -THE GREATEST LOVE OF ALL - George Benson

THE GRATITUDE CHRONICLES: HAPPY UNVALENTINES DAY TO YOU AND YOU

 I am sure you see that title and you automatically say gee he's against chocolates and flowers and I would say, you are kind of right. Valentine's day has never been a hip holiday for me. I have had lots of bad luck on that day. I actually was dumped a few times on that day when I was younger. I was the kid who never got a carnation. And now I am vegan so I don't eat chocolate. So yay what a holiday. Read more

EPISODE XXXIII: FINDING YOURSELF THROUGH THE HAZE

 The haze can refer to many different things.  Haze can mean distractions, doubt, uncomfortable feelings and situations, and it's easy for us to lose ourselves when these things happen.  The best we can do is look for ourselves through this stuff and then give ourselves unconditional love when we do find ourselves.  It's a work in progress. 

MUSIC IN THIS EPISODE

-HAZY SHADE OF WINTER - The Bengals
-STANDING IN THE SHADOWS - Dokken
BY MYSELF - Linkin Park
SO I COULD FIND MY WAY - Enya
FIND YOU - Zedd ft Matthew Koma/Mirian Bryant
-TURN ON THE LIGHTS - Kill the Noise Trent Monroe, JUST DUE, Spencer Ludwig
TURN ON THE LIGHTS AGAIN - Swedish House Mafia, Fred Again ft Future
THIS LIGHT BETWEEN US - Armin Van Buuren ft Christian Burns

THE GRATITUDE CHRONICLES: BETTER LATE THAN NEVER

Yes I know. Wednesday is chronicle day and I missed it. I could tell you one hundred reasons why. I could tell you my transportation business took a hard left this week and it distracted me. I could tell you I had a depressive episode this week that was unbearable. I could tell you lots of things. However, my action spoke louder this week. Apparently, things were more important than speaking my truth as I do here every Wednesday. (read more)

EPISODE XXXII: THE SENSE OF SOUND

 I take a deeper look into the impact that not only music plays in our lives but sounds in general.  What we hear, how we feel.  We also explore sound bath meditation as Shawn Buckel from Tribalance Yoga talks about his journey and what led him to lead one of the best sound baths I ever attended.

If you get a chance please join Shawn and Haley this Saturday at 630 at TRIBALANCE for their soundbath.

MUSIC IN THIS EPISODE

SOUND OF MUSIC - Nookie
THE LANGUAGE OF SOUND - Enigma
THE SOUND OF SILENCE - Disturbed
MUSIC OF THE NIGHT - Michael Crawford
BANG THE GONG (GET IT ON) - Ministry