As I turned 50 this week, I take a look back at my life as whole. The good and the bad and examine where do I go next. Where can we all find common ground with the person we were and the person we are now. Finding those good parts we had, and merging them with the person we are now. Letting go of things that don't serve us. This is my battle. This is my aim. I want to be the best I can be, every day. So come on and do it with me stoner!!!!! MUSIC FROM THIS EPISODE EVERYDAY - Buddy Holly WALKING ON THE EDGE - Scorpions SPILLAWAYS - Ghost w/ Joe Elliot I.D.G.A.F. - Ditchwater SWEET MEMORIES - Zeds Dead MAN I USED TO BE - K os BACK TO U - Slander NOBODY DOES IT BETTER - Carly Simon
50. The number doesn't scare me. It’s the scenery that does. I look around and wonder if I’ve spent my time or just wasted it. I feel numb more than I feel happy lately, and that’s a hard truth to sit with when you’re trying to build something authentic. People question my intentions, but I’m the one questioning my own progress. Lately, the past hasn't just been a memory—it’s been a trigger. A smell, a place, a ghost of old rejection. It feels like for every two steps I’ve taken toward growth, I’ve slid three steps back into the mud of my childhood. My family sees me differently now. I know why. I own that. But knowing you’re the one who broke it doesn’t always mean you know how to glue it back together. Sometimes the affirmations feel like bullshit. Sometimes the weight of it all makes me wonder if being here matters at all. But then I remember: "Every passing moment is another chance to turn it around." I wake up. I breathe. I get another shot to find that microphon...
