BREATHE N BOUNCE

 I had a very slow weekend this weekend, so I just took the time to relax and find peace for myself. I did a pretty strenuous workout, and I'm still trying to figure out some way to possibly take care of the soreness, but we'll get there eventually. In the meantime, I like to spend time watching movies, 'cause I'm a big fan of film. One movie in particular that has always peaked my interest is Dune. I really can't tell you what it's about, because every time I try to watch it I start falling asleep, and that might be from not sleeping very much this weekend. However, the point is I am trying to power through it. The visual effects in the movie, along with the sets, the camera work, and the music, are a sight to behold. I also find myself doing the same thing in life: powering through things, wanting to see how they end. Perhaps I fall asleep, or in this case, I compromise my mental health. And I think I do things based on what I believe they could be. I believe ...

Spotify Knows You're Depressed Before You Do: What Mood-Tracking Playlists Get Right (and Wrong) There is a strange little moment that happens when Spotify serves you a playlist called something like Sad Girl Autumn , Songs to Cry in the Car , or Deep Focus for When Your Brain Is Absolutely Fucked . You look at the screen and think: Okay, rude. Who told you? Did I search for this? Yes. Did I listen to the same depressing song seventeen times after midnight? Also yes. Did I skip every cheerful song like it personally owed me money? Unfortunately, yes. But does that mean Spotify knows I’m depressed? No. Not clinically. Not in the way a therapist, doctor, or trusted friend might recognize depression. Spotify is not sitting there with a tiny clipboard, diagnosing us between Phoebe Bridgers and Kendrick Lamar. Still, it knows things. It knows what we play, what we skip, what we save, what we repeat, what we search for, and what time of day we keep returning to the same emotion...

 One of the worst truths I have had to learn how to accept over the last year or so in some intense therapy is that I am not like other people.  There are things wrong with my programing and it all started when I was young.  Maybe I was set up to fail, or just full of bad decisions.  I hurt people.  I have hurt myself and I need to know why and the paths to those answers start here. MUSIC FROM THIS EPISODE SEE THE LIGHT - Swedish House Mafia STRANGERS - Portishead LET YOU DOWN - NF WONDERFUL NOTHING - Glass Animals ALONE - Edgars Bukovskis LOVE IS GONE - Slander WHOLE AGAIN - Matisse and Sadko