This is a picture from 2016 and I look happy, but I am really not. I talk about how I screwed so much stuff up that year and it was the beginning of a slippery slope of doom with people who knew me, loved me, and the vomit of lots of anger, sadness, and guilt I was carrying for so long. I think we all have years like this when we were at our worst. How can we recover? Did I make everything better? Was I able to grow and learn from it? Can you? Can anyone? Time heals, but we must help move that process along. MUSIC FROM THIS EPISODE IT WAS A VERY GOOD YEAR - Frank Sinatra ALL THE THINGS SHE SAID - Poppy SACRIFCE - Kx5(Kaskade, Deadmau5)/Sofi Tukker WORST DAY - Illenium REPLICA - Fear Factory WILL I - Music from the Broadway Musical Rent WHEN LIFE IS GOOD AGAIN - Dolly Parton
There are moments in time where things come up for us that we don't know how to deal with. There are times when depression hits us like a ton of bricks. We don't know where it came from. We don't know how it happened. So, we find ourselves not knowing what to do, and we try to run away from it. Panic attacks happen out of nowhere, and we don't have a plan for how to deal with it. So obviously, the best thing we can do is create plans for bullshit. By creating plans, we learn not to run away from this, but to face it. Sometimes we can explore and see where it came from, and some people might say, "I don't give a shit where it came from because I just don't like what I'm experiencing, and I want it to be over with." I have always been of that mindset. However, these days I am someone who will sit with the feeling. I will let it consume me, and then I will let it pass by. There are unfortunately days where depression can take a long time for me to...
