No I am not talking about Miami. I am talking about the place you go to find a way to get something that you are missing inside. Filling the hole as my wife has said many times. I have tried to fill the hole many ways. Right now, it's gambling. Although not serious, I have to look at my family history and my nature to understand why I must take action now to minimize damage, or suffer consequences later. I am hoping people can learn from my story here and that's the talk of the day today. MUSIC FROM THIS EPISODE ADDICTED TO THE RUSH - Mr Big THE GAMBLER - Kenny Rogers A HORSE WITH NO NAME - America EXCESS - Health/Perturbator SIN - Nine Inch Nails I REFUSE - Five Finger Death Punch w/Maria Brink BREAKING THE HABIT - Linkin Park
You feel it. You sense it. You know it. There is something really wrong going on. We could sit here and talk for hours about the shit going on in humanity — and it's fucked up right now. But at this particular moment, I'm talking mainly about myself. I find myself not really finding joy anymore. The joy I get is when I create things. When I talk about this. When I do my show. But outside of that, it's been kind of numb. Like there's nothing. I'm grateful for some situations that happened in my life, and those moments bring me joy. But outside of that, there's a lot of nothingness. I thought that having today was why I grew my hair back out longer. I didn't like who I was when I had short hair. I didn't feel free. I didn't feel like I was living my best life. I felt like I was just like everyone else, soldiering on in survival mode. And I feel like maybe everything is a façade. Sure, I grew my hair out. But did I grow my life? In some ways, I did. I...
