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THE EMERGENCY

There are moments in time where things come up for us that we don't know how to deal with. There are times when depression hits us like a ton of bricks. We don't know where it came from. We don't know how it happened. So, we find ourselves not knowing what to do, and we try to run away from it. Panic attacks happen out of nowhere, and we don't have a plan for how to deal with it. So obviously, the best thing we can do is create plans for bullshit. By creating plans, we learn not to run away from this, but to face it. Sometimes we can explore and see where it came from, and some people might say, "I don't give a shit where it came from because I just don't like what I'm experiencing, and I want it to be over with." I have always been of that mindset. However, these days I am someone who will sit with the feeling. I will let it consume me, and then I will let it pass by. There are unfortunately days where depression can take a long time for me to...
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WISE ASS WEDNESDAY

  Finding My Footing After Everything Fell Apart: A Guide to Resetting Mid-Year Let's be completely honest for a second: this last stretch of the year has been a total mess for me. Who comes up with these arbitrary checkpoints anyway? Sometime around July or August, right in the suffocating heat of summer, you look up and realize the grand plans you made back in January didn't just stall out: they completely derailed. It’s such a shitty place to be. You're standing amidst the wreckage of half-finished goals, mounting burnout, and a brain that feels like it’s running on dial-up internet while everyone else on social media seems to be thriving on a perpetual yacht vacation. Panic attacks crept in uninvited. The deep holes we create for ourselves through self-doubt and over-hustling got a little too comfortable. If you’re sitting there right now feeling like your life recently fell apart: whether it was a relationship ending, a career hiccup, a health scare, or just a ...

EPISODE CLXVI: SANTOSHA AND SHENANIGANS

  What are we OK with?  What works for us?  What if we can't find it? Is there a way to just be fine with that? I ask these questions today and talk about how I feel about it all and where it has brought me now.  Also big announcements for Breathe and Bounce as well. MUSIC FROM THIS EPISODE THAT'S LIFE - Frank Sinatra WHAT YOUR SOUL SINGS - Massive Attack/Sinead o' Connor PAYING MY WAY - Dropkick Murphys I THOUGHT I KNEW IT ALL - Megadeth ONE DAY THEY'LL KNOW - Pretty Lights FINALLY - Swedish House Mafia/Alicia Keys

CAST OUT AND PUT ASIDE

  Being rejected is probably one of the worst feelings in the world. When you are rejected by someone, it brings a lot of things up in your mind, and it's nothing good. There's a pain and suffering that comes with not being wanted or not being recognized, and then the questions start to appear. You find yourself asking if you're good enough for anybody. If anyone likes you. You start thinking, what can I do to change myself so people will like me and people will accept me? Sometimes you may go as far as to get plastic surgery done on yourself, or you might empty out your bank account to win favors with certain people. The worst is when it's your own family that makes you feel that way. If there's someone who has been like me growing up, the only way that I got people to notice me was I acted really obnoxious. And then it just became a part of who I am. We all want to be seen and we all want to be accepted. We all want love in our lives. It is a need, because goi...

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