BREATHE N BOUNCE

One thing we eventually learn is just how hard it is to be alone. It’s a battle shaped by a thousand different factors, and for me, it’s a mix of loneliness, deep-seated insecurities, and a constant rotation of tough love and self-care. People love to say you come into this world alone and you leave it alone. That might be true on paper, but the reality is that when you’re born, you’re usually in the arms of a loving mother. You might spend time in the womb alone, but you don’t remember that. What you do remember—even if it’s just a ghost of a feeling—is being safe. Being nurtured. I think we struggle with being alone because there is just so much to say. Our minds are crowded with thoughts and ideas that feel like they have to get out. I’ve always loved communicating. I’ve always wanted to do radio. That’s exactly why I started this show—to get the "shit" out. But loneliness isn’t just about being physically by yourself. Sometimes, our belief systems make us alone. When you...

 

Sensory Grounding: Finding Your Feet When Life Gets Heavy Have you ever had one of those days: or maybe it's been a whole damn month: where you feel like you’re just... floating? And not in a cool, "I’m a cloud" kind of way. More like your brain is a balloon that’s detached from the string and is currently tangling itself in power lines. I’ve been there. Lately, actually. This last month has been really tough for me. I’ve had those depressing moments where the walls feel like they’re closing in, and the panic attacks that come out of nowhere like some uninvited asshole at a party. It’s such a shitty place to be when you can’t even trust your own thoughts to stay in one place. You’re ruminating on something someone said three years ago, or you’re spiraling about some future "what if" that hasn't even happened yet. Who comes up with these things? Our brains are sometimes our own worst enemies, aren't they? We talk a lot on the Breathe N Bounce po...

 As I turned 50 this week, I take a look back at my life as whole.  The good and the bad and examine where do I go next.  Where can we all find common ground with the person we were and the person we are now.  Finding those good parts we had, and merging them with the person we are now.  Letting go of things that don't serve us.  This is my battle.  This is my aim.  I want to be the best I can be, every day.  So come on and do it with me stoner!!!!! MUSIC FROM THIS EPISODE EVERYDAY - Buddy Holly WALKING ON THE EDGE - Scorpions SPILLAWAYS - Ghost w/ Joe Elliot I.D.G.A.F. - Ditchwater SWEET MEMORIES - Zeds Dead MAN I USED TO BE - K os BACK TO U - Slander NOBODY DOES IT BETTER - Carly Simon

50. The number doesn't scare me. It’s the scenery that does. I look around and wonder if I’ve spent my time or just wasted it. I feel numb more than I feel happy lately, and that’s a hard truth to sit with when you’re trying to build something authentic. People question my intentions, but I’m the one questioning my own progress. Lately, the past hasn't just been a memory—it’s been a trigger. A smell, a place, a ghost of old rejection. It feels like for every two steps I’ve taken toward growth, I’ve slid three steps back into the mud of my childhood. My family sees me differently now. I know why. I own that. But knowing you’re the one who broke it doesn’t always mean you know how to glue it back together. Sometimes the affirmations feel like bullshit. Sometimes the weight of it all makes me wonder if being here matters at all. But then I remember: "Every passing moment is another chance to turn it around." I wake up. I breathe. I get another shot to find that microphon...

10 Reasons Your "Chill" Playlist Isn’t Helping Your Anxiety (And How to Fix It) I’ve spent way too many nights laying on my floor, staring at the ceiling, while some "Relaxing Lofi Beats for Studying/Anxiety" playlist loops in the background on YouTube. And honestly? I still felt like a bag of smashed crabs. I’d be lying there, chest tight, brain racing through a thousand scenarios of how I’m failing at life, and the music just felt... hollow. Like I was trying to put a tiny Band-Aid on a massive, gaping wound. We’ve all been told that music is the ultimate healer. And it is. But there’s a difference between using music as a tool and using it as a rug to sweep all our shit under. Sometimes, those "chill" vibes we curate are actually doing more harm than good. They keep us stuck in a loop of numbing out rather than actually moving through the muck. This last month has been really tough for me: a lot of depressing moments and some pretty nasty panic atta...

 People like to say high school is the best time of your life.  Well first I would say tell that to the Yellowjackets.  Secondly, mine sucked.  So I will talk about it in great detail here.  And if you are a high school graduate, you might want to check this shit out.  I promise you will be able to relate and walk away with strong feelings.   MUSIC ON THIS EPISODE SCHOOLS OUT - Alice Cooper BACK TO SCHOOL (MINI MAGGIT) - Deftones SOMEWHERE I BELONG - Linkin Park JUST ONE LAST TIME - David Guetta CHANGE - Lana Del Rey SOMETHING NEW - Axwell^Ingrosso

A big theme for me this weekend is transitions—the changing road ahead and all the shit spinning in my head. A lot of it comes from my kid graduating, which has me reflecting on my own high school experience. To be blunt: there wasn’t much of one. I wasted so much time, and it wasn’t even funny. I didn't get the support or the challenge I needed. I was bullied by students, and teachers openly told others they expected me to end up pumping gas. When I was tossed out of mainstream high school and put into a behavioral school, I didn't see much of a future. I thought I was doomed. But at the new school, I started making friends—mostly because we were all getting high—but I also found an interest in writing. I wrote a play, cast it (though rehearsals never happened), and actually did well in sports like volleyball and bowling. By senior year, I was on the yearbook staff. But I never finished. I took a job with my father instead, which was a mistake. I missed my own high school grad...

Looking For Mental Health Support on a Budget? Let’s be real for a second, trying to keep your head above water when your bank account is as empty as your dopamine reserves is a special kind of hell. We’re told constantly to "prioritize our mental health" and "self-care is a necessity," but then you look at the price tag of a single therapy session and realize it costs more than your weekly grocery bill. READ MORE

May is always hard for me, and it has been hitting me hard.  People I love don't receive me the way I want them to because of my actions in the past.  I acknowledge it and I talk about the complicated relationship I have had with people, especially women.  It 's because of my insecure and anger and I have to deal with it so I talk about that along with other stuff that's heavy. MUSIC ON THIS EPISODE MOTHER - Danzig GOOD THINGS FALL APART - Illenium WE NEED A MOTHER - Ane Brun DISAPPOINTED - Nine Inch Nails WINGS - Armand Ven Helden I CAN BE SOMEONE - Deorro w/ Erin Macarley FAMILY - The Chainsmokers and Kygo

Yesterday on Friday FaceTime, I talked about how our thoughts write our reality. But the truth is, sometimes those thoughts are absolute bullshit. I’ve learned the hard way that my own drawn conclusions can take me to some pretty dark places. I’ve lost people because of it. I’ve made myself miserable when nothing was even happening, just because my mind was building up World War III in my head. It really fucked me up.   People say "just don’t think about it," but we all know that’s easier said than done. Then they say "meditate."  Look, meditation isn’t a cure-all. It’s not a magic button. What it actually does is keep you stable. It brings you to a place where you can think clearly and use mindfulness to navigate the mess. For the last four months, I haven’t been practicing any of this. I haven't even made it to a yoga class. I’ve been leading my company from an emotional place instead of a stable one, and it’s been making everything harder. When you’re a super...

Do You Really Need Expensive 'Wellness' Gadgets? Here’s the Truth So, as you know, Michael has been on a bit of a tear lately. If you’ve been listening to the pod or caught him in a particularly honest mood, you know he’s been questioning the absolute hell out of the yoga and wellness community. And honestly? I’m right there with him. It’s started to feel like you need a six-figure salary and a second mortgage just to find five minutes of inner peace. Since when did "wellness" become a luxury subscription service? READ MORE

   I was going to talk about something else.  Something important.  However, I was very tired and it made me think about how tired people are all the time.  So I thought I would focus on that.  Why don't we sleep? And why is it when we try we still don't? These questions and more in this episode. MUSIC FROM THIS EPISODE PRESSURE - Nadia Ali, Starkillers, Alex Kenji (Alesso remix) KEEP ON GOING - Fleetwood Mac I DO COKE - Kill the Noise/Feed me INSOMNIA - Faithless SO TIRED - Ozzy Osbounre SLEEPYHEAD 2005 - Passion Pit/Sofi Tukker

 So, I’ve decided to move the Gratitude Chronicle to Saturdays.  Since I brought back the "Michael Moment," I wanted to do this "Friday FaceTime" thing where I drop a video update. It’s funny how I relegate things to specific days, but it actually got me thinking about something Bhante Sujatha talked about in one of his Dharma talks. I wanted to revisit that here. READ MORE