BREATHE N BOUNCE

 I take an honest look at my temper and how it has hurt so many people, including myself.  I explore ways to help it.  Sometimes it's not what makes me mad.  It's about what don't I have that makes me emotional and that is the them of todays epsiode.  Sorry it was late by the way. MUSIC FROM THIS EPISODE JEKYLL AND HYDE - Five Finger Death Punch TON OF BRICKS - Metal Church BASTARD - Tyler the Creator END OF ALL HOPE - Nightwish ANOTHER DAY - Dream Theater HEAVENLY SIDE - Illenium

Halloween is such a fun time for people. There's candy, there's costumes, there's haunted houses. However, sometimes in life, Halloween is every day, as life is the haunted house. We have to find a way to maneuver through it. The perception of one who has any kind of behavior disorder is a very dark sky above our heads. We look at things differently. We feel things differently. And the worst part about it is we can't really talk about it, because if we do, we make people feel uncomfortable. The only treats we get in our daily life are those of peace and quiet. Maybe if someone says a kind word to us and lets us know that they see us, we can have a smile and know that we're doing the best we can. The haunted house is our life, as we go from room to room wondering what's around the corner. And we have to decide how we're going to deal with it, because if we deal with it the wrong way, then society will show us. Families will disown us. Life becomes harder to t...

Halloween Was My Favorite Holiday Until Everyone Grew Up: Notes on a Depressing October 28th Halloween used to be my favorite holiday. I loved the decorations, the costumes, the candy, the stupid scary movies, the neighbors pretending to be dead when they were very obviously standing behind a curtain. I loved the energy of it. The whole neighborhood seemed to agree, for one night, to become slightly ridiculous. And now? Now October 28th can feel like standing in the run-up to a holiday that already feels different. The decorations are still in the garage. The candy is sitting in the pantry. I may or may not have bought the kind I like and then pretended it was “for the kids.” Sure, Michael. Nobody believes that. Not even you. But the magic has changed. The kids grew up. Some moved away. Some have families of their own. Some are too cool to trick-or-treat with me now, which is honestly rude because I had years of costume logistics invested in those children. I helped create tiny...

 I guess I can say I woke up on the wrong side of the bed or someone pissed in my wheaties.  At least I woke up right.  I take you into a huge episode in my brain to show you the fight I take on every single day and how exhausting it is.  And how I talk myself down and then try to move forward.  It is extremely difficult.  TW: SUICIDE MUSIC FROM THIS EPISODE FIX UR FACE - MGK w/Fred Durst THE DEVIL IN I - Slipknot HAPPINESS IS SO SAD - Swedish House Mafia I ALWAYS NEED MORE - Chris Malinchak WHAT I'VE DONE - Linkin Park GIVING IT OUT - Above and Beyond f/Zoe Johnston