I spoke about this on Friday FaceTime yesterday, and I just
thought it was very important for it to be said again because it is something
that I have now dedicated to working on for myself. I think that life is very
precious and sometimes we can take it for granted. And when I say take it for
granted, I don't mean we party and do drugs and engage in reckless activities.
I think we take for granted the impact that we have on others.
I have been having kind of a rough time as I have been
moving, and I am now living in a place where I am very uncomfortable. This is
because I have a lot of bad memories of pain that I caused others there, and I
also think about the way my kids were when they were younger and how much
closer I was to them than I am now because, as we all know, kids eventually
grow up and wanna be independent and want to do their own thing and sometimes
they don't need their parents in their business.
When we have bad attitudes and bad energy, it goes out
there. People receive that energy and people process it and people internalize
it, and sometimes that energy can put them in a bad mood. It's kind of like
someone working as a cashier at a fast food joint — that person tries her
hardest to show great customer service and be nice and kind and welcoming, and
the person ordering has the worst attitude in the world and is pissed off and
takes it out on this poor person. This now makes the cashier feel somewhat
triggered, maybe upset, maybe confused, and they have to shake that off and
continue to do their job correctly, which is gonna take a lot more energy from
them.
The way we interact with people can create such a domino
effect. Someone might be driving down the road and flip you off because someone
said something really nasty to them on the phone, and that person wasn't in a
bad mood because they woke up and didn't feel right. The energy is a ripple
effect, and it is so fascinating to me as I write this, as I am teaching myself
this. You have to remember: whenever you read or listen to anything on Breathe
N Bounce, you're not listening to an expert — you're listening to someone who
is learning just like you are. I write and I read at the same time.
I think that my energy can be really good at times and
really horrible at others, and when I say horrible, I mean beyond. I am really
fucking negative. I am like doomsday negative — Type O Negative couldn't write
a song so depressing about my attitude at times. I can get very angry. I can
get very bitchy. I get really whiny, clingy. I get all these things. But these
things aren't who I am. They are things that I am projecting because I received
energy from some other source.
So I think the trick is to understand that you can be the
electric tape that stops that current. You can be the one that slows down the
speed of the negative energy. Hell, you can even put a stop to it. This isn't
about toxic positivity. This is about understanding that we do affect all. You
never know who's paying attention to you. You never know who's watching you.
You never know who's listening. And someone might actually be listening to you
and feeling so agitated by your words that it makes them, when they leave you,
be an asshole to someone else. This is all really true and I really do believe
it.
So as I said on Friday FaceTime yesterday, I am really going
to make a cognizant effort to work on this. This way, people that I love know
that I love them without a doubt, that I don't have a problem with them. This
way, I spread some kindness and goodness in the world, which is very needed
right now. We all have to drop our swords. We all have to drop our weapons, and
we have to understand that not everything is about us. We have a responsibility
— all of us — to make this world a better place. That doesn't just mean by
cleaning up the streets. It also means cleaning up the way that we treat
people, and most importantly, the way we treat ourselves. Yes, I know at the
beginning of this I said it's not about doing drugs and engaging in reckless
activities, but that does go along with it.
And in any event, it is your life and you make the decision
on how you want to move forward. Me? I am going to try to just bring more love
and kindness and happiness and excitement and comedy everywhere I go, and try
to leave the other bullshit behind.
NMF
M
