I find myself sometimes getting super emotional, and that is
not always in the best way. It then manifests itself in sickness, anxiety
attacks, and other things that I'd quite frankly could do without.
I get really emotional about seeing how people get treated.
And for years, I did it. But now, it does affect me, and now it makes me feel a
certain way. I don't want it to be seen as weakness, but a lot of people tell
me not to worry about what happens with other people.
I see loved ones and friends going through struggles, and I
want to help, but I know that I can't. I can give advice. I can tell them what
I would do, but that doesn't fix the problem. The problem is that they have to
fix it themselves, and I cannot participate in their healing or their fixing,
if you will.
It's really hard when you want to help people who won't
really talk to you or want to keep their distance from you because of things
you did in the past. Sometimes you know that they're hurting and they could
just use a friend, and you wanna be that friend, but the time is not right for
that yet.
You want to give and give and give, and you want to just
really make people happy. But then, sometimes in life, there are people out
there you just can't make happy no matter what you do. And the easiest thing to
do is walk away, but sometimes we just keep going, hoping for a different
outcome. Some people call that insanity. But I would say it's hope.
You see, I've got hope for humanity. And I believe that
although humanity has taken some dark, twisted turns, I am hopeful that one day
people will see the error of their ways and learn how to forgive, learn how to
accept, to stop judging, stop hating, stop criticizing.
Utopia, you say? Maybe. But anything is possible. And if
everyone can just do a little bit together, we can all do a lot. And then maybe
we can find ways to limit anxiety in our lives. Maybe we can stop the
depression from creeping. And maybe all those heavy moments we have in our
brains, we can find a way to live with them. Whether we are someone that was
attacked, beaten, or mentally abused, or if in fact we are the abusers who see
the damage that we have done and don't want to make those mistakes again and be
better than we were before.
I ask for help. I ask that the world changes where we're not
so concerned with money and material things, but we are concerned with
mindfulness and things that make the heart sing.
NMF
Your good friend Michael
