As I embark on my fifth decade, I find myself looking back.
I think about the struggles I’ve faced, the victories I’ve achieved, the goals
I’ve crushed, and the opportunities I’ve missed. When I really break it all
down, it comes to four simple words: This is the life.
I’ve had so many of my European friends—especially Polish
and Russian—tell me throughout my life, "This is the life." It has
always resonated with me, especially when things aren’t going right. When
things are tough, I say to myself, this is the life. When I
lose people close to me, I say, this is the life. When I
struggle to find a connection with my kids because they’re teenagers, this
is the life.
As I’ve gotten older, that saying has made more of a
difference. It has taught me that we don’t get a "good" life or a
"bad" life. We just get a life. We have to do the best we can every
day with the time we have.
Another sobering reality for me is the fact that I’m at an
age where everything can be taken away; where my time in this body could come
to a close out of nowhere. Although I am somewhat at peace with that, I feel
there are still a few important things I need to accomplish. I’m not going to
get into that right now, but let’s just say that when time heals wounds, you
hope you have enough of it to heal the wounds you caused—and that certain
people will forgive you and interact with you again.
We live on a planet where so much is happening that doesn’t
concern us, yet we seem so attracted to those distractions. Meanwhile, the
things we need to work on within ourselves are what actually need our
attention: our ability to listen more and talk less; our ability to put on
someone else’s shoes and think about how they walk, knowing those shoes might
take us on a path we’d never want to travel.
Ultimately, nearing 50 has brought me perspective. I have
always tried to do my best, but there have been times where I’ve been at my
absolute worst. I’ve destroyed things, taken people down, and done things I am
100% not proud of. I’ve lied, cheated, and manipulated. I played the game. I
did a lot of that because, growing up, that’s what I was taught—not only by my
father but also by the industry I am in right now. Humanity has some real
"shit" going on there.
But perspective teaches me to look at the parts that serve
me and forget the ones that don’t. I have an issue with the yoga industry right
now, which we’ll probably get into as time goes on, but the practice of yoga
really saved me. It grounded me and helped shape who I am today. Lately, I’ve
been able to integrate that practice with my true self. Even though I’ve done
shitty things, that doesn’t necessarily define the person I am.
I sit back and think about that term, "This is the
life," and the collection of memories and accomplishments that mean
something to me (and maybe a few other people, too). The moral of the story is
this: as you get older, know that time is not your friend. Start thinking about
the things you want to accomplish, and go for it.
NMF M
